Identity
Working out who you actually are — sexuality, gender, faith, culture, or just the version of you that got buried under everyone else's expectations.
Counselling · Nelson, Aotearoa
Every story has a second act.
However the story has gone so far, the next part isn't written yet. I'm Nathan — a Nelson counsellor — and I'd like to help you work out what comes next, at whatever pace feels right. In person or online, no judgement either way.
Getting in touch is usually the hardest part, so let me make it simple. This isn't about being “fixed”, because you're not broken. It's a quiet, private hour with someone who's properly on your side, where we talk things through and you decide what to do with them. We go at your pace. That's really the whole deal.
What I help with
Whatever you're carrying
People come to me for all sorts of reasons. Here are some of the most common ones. If yours isn't on the list, get in touch anyway — it probably still fits.
Depression & low mood
When everything feels heavy, flat or pointless, and getting through the day quietly takes far more than anyone realises.
Anxiety & stress
Quieting the worry that won't switch off, and finding ways to feel steadier when life starts to feel like too much.
Anger
Anger nearly always has something underneath it. We'll find out what — so it stops costing you the people and things you care about.
Trauma
Making sense of things that have hurt you, gently and safely, and never being pushed anywhere you're not ready to go.
Self-sabotage
The patterns that trip you up right when things start going well. We'll work out where they come from and loosen their grip.
Who I work with
People in the middle of big change
Some of this I haven't just studied — I've lived it. If you're leaving a way of life behind and trying to work out who you are on the other side of it, you won't have to start by explaining the basics to me.
A bit about meHow I work
There's no one right way to do this
Different things help different people, so I don't run everyone through the same programme. I draw on a handful of well-tested approaches and use whatever actually helps you.
Person-Centred
Led by you, not me. The starting point is that you already have what you need to grow — my job is to help it come through.
ACT
Less fighting your thoughts, more room to live alongside them — and small steps back toward what matters.
Narrative
You're not the problem; the problem is the problem. We separate the two and rewrite the story you've been told about yourself.
MBT
Getting better at reading what's going on under the surface — in you and in others. Quietly powerful for relationships.
A bit of CBT
Practical tools for spotting the thinking traps and trying out kinder, more useful responses.
Trauma-informed
Safety comes first, always. We never move faster than feels okay.
Your counsellor
Kia ora, I'm Nathan
I didn't take a straight road into this work, and honestly that's part of why I'm good at it. I've worn a uniform, belonged to a tight-knit community and then walked away from it, and started life over in a new country. I know from the inside what rebuilding takes.
None of that comes with judgement attached. I'm easy to talk to, fairly hard to shock, and not the least bit interested in telling you what to do — that isn't how any of this works.
Read my story